Strong Families from the Start
There are many more specific methods and techniques for how to help parents with effective, successful discipline. Every age, situation and child may require the use of slightly different techniques. Here’s some great sources for those that want to dig deeper.
There are times that parents can feel very overwhelmed by the behavior of their child and may need additional help for suggestions on how to make things better. Parents can talk to their childcare providers for suggestions since childcare providers often have significant training in child behavior and discipline techniques. Parents can also talk to child therapists or find additional services with behavioral specialists at the following:
Early Childhood Direction Center provides unbiased information, referral and support to families, professionals, and community agencies concerning young children birth to five who may have a special need so informed choices can be made. (315) 443-4444
Integrative Counseling Services provides play therapy for children and counseling services for adolescents, adults, couples and families living in Oswego (315) 342-9255, Cicero (315) 699-5123, and now in Auburn (315) 342-9255.
Gavras Center Cornerstone Project utilizes the expertise of Behavioral Analyst Diane deRoos to help parents and families achieve goals on behavior changes with their young children. This program is available for free for children participating in the Gavras Center for childcare or for a fee for outside families. Follow the link or call (315) 255-2746 for more information.
- How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! by Sal Severe (2000). Rather than focus on what children do wrong, Dr. Severe teachers parents to be positive, consistent, and patient. He explains to parents how to teach their children to behave, listen, and be more cooperative. He emphasizes that parents need to control their own anger and prevent arguments and power struggles.
- Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster Cline & Jim Fay (2006). This parenting book shows how to parent effectively while teaching children responsibility. Cline and Fay show parents how to establish healthy control through easy-to-implement steps without threats or nagging.
- The Discipline Book: Everything you Need to Know to Have a Better-Behaved Child from Birth to Age 10 by Martha Sears and William Sears (1995). Dr. Bill and Martha Sears explain what parents can do to shape a child's behavior so that good behavior comes naturally. These pediatric experts offer practical advice on a broad range of disciplinary issues. They focus not only on fixing behavioral problems, but preventing them in the first place.
- Discipline "The Brazelton Way" by T. Berry Brazelton & Joshua Sparrow (2003). Pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton and child psychiatrist Joshua Sparrow help parents deal with issues from sleepless nights to defiant toddlers. Brazelton and Sparrow seek to empower parents to understand the strength and progress of their individual child.
- How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (newest edition 2012). Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children. The authors’ time-tested methods help solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships between parents and children.
- Easy to Love; Difficult to Discipline: The Seven Basic Skills for Turning Conflict intoCooperation by Becky Bailey (2000). Baily sets out a 7 week program to help parents learn the 7 Powers for Self-Control - modeling the behavior they want their kids to follow. She then writes about 7 Basic discipline skills to help children manage situations at home and at school. These, she argues, will help the child develop 7 Values for Living, such as integrity, respect, compassion, and responsibility.
- Screamfree Parenting by Hal Runkel (2007). This book shows that parents need to learn to calm their emotional reactions to be successful parents. Runkel suggests that when parents say we “lost it” with our kids, the “it” in that sentence is our own adulthood. Runkel teaches parents that they can develop a calm, mutually respectful, and loving relationships with their kids.
- Redirecting Children’s Behavior by Kathryn Kvols (1997). This book teaches parents how to discipline their children by using many practical and effective techniques while avoiding punishment. Kvols tries to help families become close, cooperative and respectful.
- The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp (2008). Renowned child development expert, Dr. Karp, explains his green light, yellow light, red light method for molding toddler behavior. He provides ways to boost your child’s good (green light) behavior, curb his difficult (yellow light) behavior, and immediately stop his unacceptable (red light) behavior
- The Explosive Child; A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W. Green (2010). Dr. Ross Greene, a distinguished clinician focused on the treatment of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, explains that these kids are lacking some crucial skills in flexibility and adaptability, frustration management, and problem solving. Greene argues that these kids need a different kind of parenting. Dr. Greene′s model promotes working with explosive children to solve the problems that precipitate explosive episodes, and teaching these kids the skills they lack.
- Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn (2006). Nationally respected educator, Alfie Kohn, asks, "What do kids need -- and how can we meet those needs?" Kohn argues that all children need to be loved unconditionally. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as rewards and punishments teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn suggests how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.
- Kids Are Worth It! Giving your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline by Barbara Coloroso (2002). Coloroso focuses on helping kids develop their own self-discipline by taking responsibility for their mistakes, thinking through solutions, and correcting their mistakes while leaving their self-respect intact.
There are many organizations that provide on-line recommendations for behavior and discipline in young children. Here are a few sites that give some concrete and positive recommendations for dealing with challenging behavior: